The Misadventures of An Eternal Teenager
by Melody Cullen
Summary: Adapted from my list/story 50 Ways for Emmett to Annoy his Family. Emmett pulls prank after prank on members of his family. How much entertainment can he get out of them before his family kills him? R&R please! And check out original story on my profile!
1. Emmett's Blog One

**A/N: So, I had planned on making my other list, 25 Ways for Emmett to Get Suspended into a story, but my muse just wasn't having it. A reviewer to 50 Ways for Emmett to Annoy His Family suggested it do that with it, and well, I'm trying my hand at it. Sorry if it isn't that good, it's not the easiest to make things on a list like that flow into a story... lol I hope you enjoy it anyway! This first chapter is a... an intro of sorts? Idk.. anyway, review please!!! And check out the original story on my profile. thx! Oh, and the title is a working title, if you can think of a better one, please let me know :)**

**Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer, therefore i own nothing. **

* * *

Emmett's Blog, April 19

Screen name: TheREALEmmettCullen

_Hey all you people in Internet land! Emmett here, with some brilliantly devious ideas. I've been stuck in my room all night completely shunned by my entire family JUST because I was singing a song! Just because it's the song that gets on everybody's nerves, doesn't mean they have to be rude! They don't know what real annoyance is. _

_So as I've been sitting here all by my lonesome I've come up with a few ideas to REALLY get on these people's nerves. I wanna see much entertainment I can get before I lose my head. They have no idea who they're dealing with. _

_First victim? Little bro, Edward. This should be easy… ._

_Keep you posted!_

_-Emmett_

Emmett closed his laptop with a grin. He could put his plan into effect immediately. Edward wouldn't know what hit him…

TBC…


	2. A Bit Childish

**A/N: Just a bit of warning, these chapters are going to be short. Sry! Enjoy! And review please!**

**Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer, therefore i own nothing. **

**1. Ambush him late at night while wearing plastic fangs, a long black cape, and cry "I WANT TO SUCK YOUR BLOOD!!!!!"**

_Dum, dum, dum…_

Edward stopped mid-step as he was headed for his car. He turned his head, confused. _What the hell was that…? _

_Dum, dum, dum, DUM!!!_

Was that Emmett?? Why was the only thing Edward could pick up in his thoughts was cheesy monster movie music?

An evil laugh echoed through his head. O, crap… Whatever this was it couldn't be good.

"Emmett," He spoke calmly and clearly. "Just come out where I can see you, and everything will be fine. I can _help_ you! Just come on out, and don't be rash."

Silence.

Edward was starting to get nervous… the music in his brother's head had ceased, as well as any other sign of life. Something wasn't-

"I VANT TO SUCK YOUR BLOOD!!!!" Emmett dropped on Edward from above him, covering his brother with the cape he wore around his neck, and letting out a hiss behind the plastic of his "fangs".

At first Edward had been so scared that he'd gone into to full attack mode, prepared to take off this intruder's head without a moment's hesitation.

Then the realization struck as Emmett's laughter rang out. It was hearty, and booming, causing his whole body to shake as Edward furiously kicked his brother off of him.

"What is the matter with you?!" He shouted. "You scared me to death!"

"I know!" Emmett laughed. "You should have seen your face!"

Edward growled menacingly.

"Don't you think this is a little bit childish, Emmett??" He asked. His brother got to his feet, trying to control his laughter.

"Nah," he answered after a moment, and then ran upstairs, laughing and humming some more monster movie music.

Edward shook his head in annoyance, but dismissed it. He knew his brother sometimes didn't know what to do with himself. Even if it did irritate him, he might as well let him have his fun… as long as it didn't happen again.

Little did he know that this was only the beginning.

TBC…


	3. Of Stickers and Sports Cars

**Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer, therefore I own nothing. **

**2. Cover his piano in puppy dog stickers, and claim that they followed him home from school**

**AND**

**3. Scrape said stickers off of his piano, and then super glue them to his Volvo**

Edward sat at lunch, a bit perplexed. Her brother had told him he was walking to school, yet he was nowhere to be found.

"Rosalie?" He asked quietly. "Where's Emmett?"

"Hunting," she said with a sigh, not turning away from the mirror she held in her hand. "Apparently there's a bear problem near Tacoma."

"Oh…" Edward said, shrugging. He wanted so badly to believe this perfectly valid excuse, but something told him his brother was up to something… something that wouldn't bode well for him.

* * *

Meanwhile, Emmett Cullen was browsing the children's section at Safeway.

"Race cars? No…" He murmured to himself, flipping through sheets of metallic stickers. "Horses? Bleh. Not even a good meal… Barbies? ….maybe. Ooh… perfect."

He grinned and took his purchase to the counter

* * *

Edward had a bad feeling when he got home. It was stormy outside and so the house was fairly dark and very quiet. He reached out with his mind, knowing someone had to be nearby.

_Twinkle, twinkle little star…_

Edward's eyebrows furrowed. That was Emmett…

Out of the silence came the first notes of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" coming from the living room.

"Emmett!" Edward shouted, running now. "Get off of my-"

He stopped short, staring in horror at his piano.

"What… have… you… done?"

His beautiful, beautiful piano was covered from top to bottom in shiny puppy dog stickers. Edward felt his eyes sting. If he could cry, he would.

"Oh, hey Bro!" Emmett said easily, smiling. "Do you like them? I was walking to school and they followed me, so I thought I would take them home, make our house like that old Disney movie 101 Dalmatians!

Edward gaped at him in shock.

"They really like your piano," he continued and then jumped out of the way as his brother lunged.

* * *

The tussle that followed was short yet quite destructive. And as Esme watched as Edward straightened up her living room, Emmett was made to scrape the stickers from his brother's piano.

Not that he minded really. It wasn't as if he hadn't planned on doing this all along anyway.

After forced apologies to each other, the boys went their separate ways. Edward went out for a quick hunt to calm his aggravation with his annoying brother. This gave said brother just the opportunity he needed to take the next step in his plan.

With all of the stickers piled in his hands, Emmett grabbed a tube of super glue and slipped outside.

"This will be priceless," he muttered with a chuckle as he quickly glued the stickers to the shining surface of the Volvo. When it was all done, he leaned back on his heels to admire his handiwork, just as he'd done an hour or so earlier when he'd… erm… "decorated" the piano.

Deeming it good and obnoxious, Emmett nodded to himself with a smile and stood. To his good fortune, he heard running nearby; his brother was home.

Deciding it was a good time for a hunt, Emmett ran toward the woods, only barely missing Edward as he ran by not ten feet away from him. Even ten miles away from their property, Emmett could hear his brother's screams of profanity.

TBC…

**(A/N: here is the next chapter! Sorry it took so long and that it was kind of short. And sorry that it's so… I don't know… silly? Lol anyway… review please!)**


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